Somebody said it takes about six weeks to get back to normal
after you've had a baby
...somebody doesn't know that once you're a mother, "normal",
is history.

Somebody said you learn how to be a mother by instinct
...somebody never took a three-year-old shopping.

Somebody said being a mother is boring
...somebody never rode in a car driven by a teenager with
a driver's permit.

Somebody said if you're a "good" mother, your child will
"turn out good"...somebody thinks a child comes with
directions and a guarantee.

Somebody said "good" mothers never raise their voices
..somebody never came out the back door just in time to
see her child hit a golf ball through the neighbor's kitchen
window.

Somebody said you don't need an education to be a mother
...somebody never helped a fourth grader with his math.

Somebody said you can't love the fifth child as much as you
love the first...somebody doesn't have five children.

Somebody said a mother can find all the answers to her
child-rearing questions in the books ....somebody never
had a child stuff beans up his nose or in his ears.

Somebody said the hardest part of being a mother is labor
and delivery...somebody never watched her "baby" get on
the bus for the first day of kindergarten ... or on a plane
headed for military "boot camp".

Somebody said a mother can do her job with her eyes closed
and one hand tied behind her back ...somebody never organized
seven giggling Brownies to sell cookies.

Somebody said a mother can stop worrying after her child gets
married...somebody doesn't know that marriage adds a new son
or daughter-in-law to a mother's heartstrings.

Somebody said a mother's job is done when her last child leaves
home...somebody never had grandchildren.

Somebody said your mother knows you love her, so you don't
need to tell her...somebody isn't a mother.